Thoughts

For many years I was a member of the word of faith movement via a Bible study I belonged too. The man who led our group put huge value on those ministers who happened to be on TV or radio. What I discovered after 17 years was an emptiness that could not be met. I would try the magical formulas out but nothing seem to happen. I was trying to use magical thinking to control the uncontrollable. The guy who led the group would talk about using grace to get what we wanted. But this didn't seem to work either. Grace was seen as power instead of relationship with God. Last year I left that ever shrinking group because I was no longer needed and I might have radical thoughts contrary to the leaders thinking. Living in Minnesota you discover that Minnesotans are passive aggressive so they rip you behind their backs. Leaving has been freeing.

What I have discovered is that relationship is what matters to God. Papa desires a deep relationship with us. I guess I should maybe take the time to read about the love languages and learn how to relate to people. When you belong to a Bible study led by someone screwier then you don't learn about relationships unless it benefits the leader.

Have you ever noticed how messed up church leaders are? Why are they allowed to lead? I understand why the Institutional church is so pitiful. By the way, I learned that this leader bases his relationship in value they are to him as so many people do.