Thoughts

What happens when you finely realize the meaninglessness of life? I wake up in the morning, go to work and come home. I wake up in the morning, go to work and come home. I read a book and then try to read another book. I buy books hoping to find the teacher or the wisdom that will give me answers to my questions. But I just go from one teacher to the next without finding the answer I was looking for. The sun rises and the sun sets, everyday from one generation to the next. It was here before I was born and it will be here when I am gone from this life. Is my life so meaningless or have I been searching in all the wrong places? But I am tired of searching for the answers.
When I was young I though about suicide but never did now that I am older I think about living another thirty years of this meaninglessness and I don't look forward to it. I need meaning in my life, I need a purpose to continue. Is there a reason to continue in this existence? Will money make me happy? It would buy me friends and lovers but not meaning. What will give this life meaning? Should I become a fan of a sports team or start back up in school? I see around me all those things people do to make it through life. Maybe I should try drugs? I've tried the sex thing and it's meaningless. I found no happiness within it. What is my next step in life? I tried the prosperity gospel and found it wanting. I confessed the word and only grew more miserable.
Why does life have to be so empty?